Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
