you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
