walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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