Sponge bath it is.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
