Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
