I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
