We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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