I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
