oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
