wanna go halves on a baby?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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