I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
