I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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