She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
