he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
