When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
