At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
It's like God shit irony all over that family
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
