youre lurking in front of me
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
