I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
