i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
