p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
