I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
