We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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