The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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