You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
