On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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