My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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