id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
