One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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