remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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