Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
