Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
