franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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