I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
