So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
