Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
