If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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