Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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