is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
