CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
