she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
