College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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