you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
