college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
