i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
