If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
