guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
