how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
