I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
