i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Randomize
