So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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