I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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